The Best

I’m probably not the smartest guy you’ve ever met. If I am, you need to meet more people. However, I do know one thing:

The 1990s were the greatest decade ever.

You want proof? Excellent. I’m a lawyer, so I like stuff like that. Here’s your proof:

“Saved by the Bell”

The Best

Honestly, that should be enough to settle any debate. However, here are a few more reasons why the 1990s were the best decade ever:

-It was cool to wear a Bugs Bunny shirt to school

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-The Nintendo 64. I could have sworn those graphics looked just like real life.

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WCW v. NWO v. WWF.  Mondays were awesome.

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-Epic TV shows like “Friends,” “Seinfeld,” and “The Fresh Prince.” Two of those shows are now on “Nick at Nite.” That makes me want to cry.

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-Oh, and “TRL.” I miss the days when seeing a thirty-second clip of your favorite music video was the highlight of your day. Seriously, that show was the peak of MTV and still the best thing that ever happened at 4pm.

-The 1990s graced us with songs such as “Gangsta’s Paradise,” “Getting Jiggy Wit’ It,” “Wonderwall,” “Waterfalls,” “Black or White,” “Wannabe,” everything Lauryn Hill did back then, “Baby One More Time,” “Good Riddance (Time of Your Life),” “Vogue,” “Jumper,” “Push,” “Sabotage,” “Ironic,” “One,” every Hootie and the Blowfish song, “No Diggity,” “California Love,” “Hypnotize,” “Iris,” “Don’t Speak,” “Smells Like Teen Spirit,” “1979,” “Mr. Jones,” every Boyz 2 Men song, and, of course, the greatest song in the history of the world: “Ice Ice Baby” (dum dum dum da da da dum)

-Oh, and “I Want it That Way.” That is the song of our generation even though no one knows what the lyrics mean. It’s that good.

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-In the 1990s, “TGIF” was more than just a phrase. I miss the 1990s.

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-“Beauty and the Beast,” “Aladdin,” and the “Lion King” were back-to-back-to-back Disney masterpieces. There would be a lot fewer wars, violence, and crime if we were all required to watch those movies each week.

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-The best movie in the history of the world was released in the 1990s:

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Nothing has ever captured my sense of wonder like “Jurassic Park.” Except for the Seven-Layer Burrito at Taco Bell.

[ Timeout: There are many more items to include, but it’s 1:00am. Thus, I’ll wrap this up soon. Time in. ]

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Finally, the 1990s were the best decade ever because we weren’t so obsessed with the internet. We were at the perfect point in the evolution of technology. An endless world of information was at our fingertips, but only at dial-up speed and if no one else at home was using the telephone. We no longer had to rely on Microsoft Encarta or World Book Encyclopedia to answer all our questions, but we couldn’t get an answer to every question within seconds. You had to work for it. Oh, you had a favorite song in 1997? Then go buy the CD for $20. Or if you were really tech savvy, you could download that bad boy on Napster or some other shady site while fighting through thousands of pop-up ads. There were no iPods or MP3 players. If you wanted to listen to a song away from home, you had a Walkman or Discman. Good luck using the latter when exercising. Today, we can download or stream a song within seconds from anywhere.

All these technological advancements are great things. However, it’s time for the old man rant. I miss the days when everything wasn’t so connected, so instant, and so constant. I miss the days when you would hang out with friends and family and you were hanging out with friends and family, not all the different people on their respective newsfeeds. I fear that we’re missing out on so many of life’s treasures because of cellphones. Magical things can happen when we’re focused on the people around us or when our minds are empty and open to the creative sparks that happen during times of mental silence. Instead, we often fill those moments by looking at a screen.

Zach Morris Phone

Thankful

Christmas and Halloween are pretty rad, but Thanksgiving is the Britney Spears of holidays.  

Thanksgiving is the best holiday.  Yo.

There is amazing food, endless football, and it’s not out-of-control crazy like Christmas.  Most importantly, it’s an amazing time of reflection and gratitude.

Our 2013 Thanksgiving Family Photo
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Things will look a little different next year.

Oh, and I can eat SO much pumpkin pie during Thanksgiving and not even feel that bad about it.

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Back to the “important” stuff.  Being thankful and junk.

Here’s what I’m most thankful for in 2013:

-A God who forgives.  I desperately need that.  All the time.

-A wife who is patient and doesn’t reject my pleas to help film “music” videos.

Awkward White Guy Rap - Lose Yourself - Eminem

-The dude(tte) who invented selfies.

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-Creative friends.

Bert and Ernie

-A little boy and a little girl.

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Sriracha.  I put that stuff on everything.

-Jordans

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-Baby Jordans.

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-The new fro-yo place by my office.

-The new fro-yo place by my house.

Justin Timberlake.  “Mirrors” was my jam this year.

-My new brother-in-law.  Now I don’t feel like a third wheel when Amanda and her sister hang out.

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-A job where I can be myself

-A church that encourages me to become a better version of myself

-Tom Brady.  Thanks for standing ten feet away from me in January.  It was fun hanging out with you.  (It counts.)

-Sparkling water

-The heroes who come to our Cap City Church small group.  Y’all are nuts, but you are encouraging and entertaining individuals who I don’t want to do life without.

-“Wrecking Ball.”  This was the best song of 2013.  Hopefully I didn’t ruin it.

-The Mexican and Peruvian restaurants by our house.

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-Razors

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Hannah M., Brian W., Matt C., Jon Acuff, and Taylor Swift.  You all inspired and encouraged me to start writing this blog.  Thanks.  Now, you must apologize to the rest of the world.

-The people who read this blog.  It means the world to me and I am so grateful for you.

-Red pants

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-My Virginia Beach friends.  Yes, our city can be a little cheesy.  Yes, it can be a little trashy.  However, it’s an amazing place to grow up.  Plus, it’s full of spectacular people.

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-All my friends.  Thanks for the encouragement and the laughs.

-My BFFs who decided to marry each other.

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-Beaches in winter

-The people who actually watch my dumb “rap” videos.  They have gotten 40,000 hits on YouTube over the past few months.  That makes me a little scared for humanity.  However, ease up on the mean YouTube comments.  We have feelings too!

-Kelly Kapowski

-Silly friends

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-Cheesy baby stuff

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-My red Puma coat.  I’m biased, but it’s pretty dope.

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-Taco Bell.  I want you everyday.

-Getting every penny back from our trip to Toronto that was cancelled at the last second due to a blizzard.

-Going crazy for Amanda’s 30th birthday by building her a tower of 30 presents.

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-Being alive

-Powdered donuts

-Game nights

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-The Washington Nationals.  The 2013 season was disappointing, but we still had fun.

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-Haribo gummy bears

-Haribo everything else

-Our flower beds.  It was fun feeling like an old man each morning I watered the beautiful flowers and plants Paul, Eddie, and Chris planted.

Nando’s Peri Peri.  If you’ve never been, go immediately.  Eat everything.

Bonobos

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-UVA’s basketball team.  Thanks for helping me heal from a disastrous UVA football season.

-“Cruise” by Florida-Georgia Line and Nelly.  I love this song.  A lot.

-My bicycle

-Not crashing on my bike at all in 2013

-Family

-Sunrises

-Sunsets

-Chips and salsa

-Jack Link’s beef jerky

…and…most importantly…

My dog

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Oh, and Zack Morris.  Thanks for the inspiration, bro.

Ordinary

Martin Luther King Jr.
Albert Einstein
Jane Addams
Mother Teresea
Teddy Roosevelt
Jackie Robinson
Susan B. Anthony
Thomas Jefferson
Anne Frank
Rosa Parks
Justin Timberlake
Harriet Beecher Stowe
Nelson Mandela
Zack Morris

Ordinary

All of these people have four things in common:

(1) They are heroes of mine.

(2) They were ordinary people.  Not superheroes.

(3) They made mistakesBig ones.

(4) They changed the world.

You can too.

Whatever is stopping you, whether it’s insecurity or wasting too much time on Facebook, don’t let it.  Ain’t nobody got time for that.

A Word From Dog

I love my dog.  A lot.

He’s ferocious.

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He’s hip.

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He likes cartoons.

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He gets in the holiday spirit.

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He’s an avid sports fan.

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He likes my friends.

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And, most importantly, he teaches me important life lessons:

Napoleon recently got into a tasty battle royale with a bowl of ice cream.  Like me at $1 hot dog night at Nationals Park, Napoleon went crazy and dove right into the bowl.  The frozen vanilla goodness disappeared as quickly as Lindsay Lohan’s career.  Of course, there was plenty of sticky residue left all over Napoleon.  I could have just left it there.  That would have given me more time to watch the Food Network and Napoleon would have been perfectly content to just nap the rest of the day away in his vanilla-coated fur.  For now.

However, in the long run, his fur would get all matted, he’d develop an old dairy stank, and he’d start to itch.  Thus, it was bath time.

As soon as I turned on the water, Napoleon darted out of the bathroom.  I hadn’t seen anything move that quickly since Amanda heard that Tom’s were on sale at Macy’s.  He did everything in his power to avoid the bathtub.  He ran.  He hid.  He growled.  He squirmed.  He cried.

Although he hated every second of it, a bath was exactly what he needed.

And then it hit me.

I do the exact same thing.

When I look back on my 23 years of life, I can cite plenty of frustrating moments.  Although I bemoaned them at the time, I now look back at many of those struggles as my greatest blessings.  Yep, they sucked.  Yep, they were painful.  Yep, I wish there was an easier way.  But after seeing how things played out, I’m infinitely thankful for a lot of those trials (I’d like a mulligan on a few of them).  I needed a “bath” and God was often there to provide one at the right time and right place, even if I thought it was the worst thing since “Saved by the Bell: The New Class.”  Although both the Bible and the Rolling Stones have been hollerin’ at me for years about this, it took a six-pound Chihuahua and his hatred of baths to make it clear:

Katy Perry is the real American Idol.

No wait, not that.

Our greatest struggles are often the prerequisites for our greatest victories.

Thanks, Napoleon.

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