The Best

I’m probably not the smartest guy you’ve ever met. If I am, you need to meet more people. However, I do know one thing:

The 1990s were the greatest decade ever.

You want proof? Excellent. I’m a lawyer, so I like stuff like that. Here’s your proof:

“Saved by the Bell”

The Best

Honestly, that should be enough to settle any debate. However, here are a few more reasons why the 1990s were the best decade ever:

-It was cool to wear a Bugs Bunny shirt to school

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-The Nintendo 64. I could have sworn those graphics looked just like real life.

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WCW v. NWO v. WWF.  Mondays were awesome.

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-Epic TV shows like “Friends,” “Seinfeld,” and “The Fresh Prince.” Two of those shows are now on “Nick at Nite.” That makes me want to cry.

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-Oh, and “TRL.” I miss the days when seeing a thirty-second clip of your favorite music video was the highlight of your day. Seriously, that show was the peak of MTV and still the best thing that ever happened at 4pm.

-The 1990s graced us with songs such as “Gangsta’s Paradise,” “Getting Jiggy Wit’ It,” “Wonderwall,” “Waterfalls,” “Black or White,” “Wannabe,” everything Lauryn Hill did back then, “Baby One More Time,” “Good Riddance (Time of Your Life),” “Vogue,” “Jumper,” “Push,” “Sabotage,” “Ironic,” “One,” every Hootie and the Blowfish song, “No Diggity,” “California Love,” “Hypnotize,” “Iris,” “Don’t Speak,” “Smells Like Teen Spirit,” “1979,” “Mr. Jones,” every Boyz 2 Men song, and, of course, the greatest song in the history of the world: “Ice Ice Baby” (dum dum dum da da da dum)

-Oh, and “I Want it That Way.” That is the song of our generation even though no one knows what the lyrics mean. It’s that good.

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-In the 1990s, “TGIF” was more than just a phrase. I miss the 1990s.

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-“Beauty and the Beast,” “Aladdin,” and the “Lion King” were back-to-back-to-back Disney masterpieces. There would be a lot fewer wars, violence, and crime if we were all required to watch those movies each week.

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-The best movie in the history of the world was released in the 1990s:

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Nothing has ever captured my sense of wonder like “Jurassic Park.” Except for the Seven-Layer Burrito at Taco Bell.

[ Timeout: There are many more items to include, but it’s 1:00am. Thus, I’ll wrap this up soon. Time in. ]

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Finally, the 1990s were the best decade ever because we weren’t so obsessed with the internet. We were at the perfect point in the evolution of technology. An endless world of information was at our fingertips, but only at dial-up speed and if no one else at home was using the telephone. We no longer had to rely on Microsoft Encarta or World Book Encyclopedia to answer all our questions, but we couldn’t get an answer to every question within seconds. You had to work for it. Oh, you had a favorite song in 1997? Then go buy the CD for $20. Or if you were really tech savvy, you could download that bad boy on Napster or some other shady site while fighting through thousands of pop-up ads. There were no iPods or MP3 players. If you wanted to listen to a song away from home, you had a Walkman or Discman. Good luck using the latter when exercising. Today, we can download or stream a song within seconds from anywhere.

All these technological advancements are great things. However, it’s time for the old man rant. I miss the days when everything wasn’t so connected, so instant, and so constant. I miss the days when you would hang out with friends and family and you were hanging out with friends and family, not all the different people on their respective newsfeeds. I fear that we’re missing out on so many of life’s treasures because of cellphones. Magical things can happen when we’re focused on the people around us or when our minds are empty and open to the creative sparks that happen during times of mental silence. Instead, we often fill those moments by looking at a screen.

Zach Morris Phone

A Friend Like You

The death of Robin Williams has made me very sad. I never knew him, but he had a profound impact on my childhood. I know millions of other folks feel the same way.

The news was shocking. Of course, none of us know why he’d take his own life. Mental illness is such a powerful force. I’ve seen it rip apart my own family in recent years. We’re repeatedly left asking the question “why?”. There is no answer.

Robin Williams has left an incredible legacy of laughter. However, I hope his greatest legacy will be the awareness his passing brings to mental health issues. There are millions of people out there who desperately need help. My brother is one of them.

Rather than do a disservice to mental health issues, which I know little about, I want to write about a few fun and silly ways Robin Williams impacted my life over the years:

1. I don’t care what the experts say, “Aladdin” is the best Disney movie of all time (“The Lizzie McGuire Movie” is a close second). The music in “Aladdin” is amazing, the story is great, Abu is my dude, and Jafar is an epic villain. However, that movie is legendary because of Robin Williams. His Genie character was fantastic. He also improvised most of it. Genius. I loved “Aladdin” so much, I would watch the cartoon show every single day after school in sixth grade. I was a hardcore middle schooler.

Friend Like You

2. “Hook.” It was my first favorite movie. It was also my first job. I loved that movie so much in second grade that I would sit in class and doodle pictures from the movie. Of course, I then put them in the front of my Trapper Keepers. Other kids saw them. Other kids wanted them. I wasn’t about go give my masterpieces away for free, so I charged a dollar for each drawing. I made $4. I was rich.

“Hook” has continued to play a significant role in my life, 20+ years later. A few weeks before the babies were born, we watched “Hook.” It was still such a great movie. However, I had a bit of an identity crisis. It seemed like only a few heartbeats ago that I was a little kid watching that movie and swindling classmates out of their money to buy my terrible drawings. As a little boy watching the movie, I identified with Peter’s kids and the Lost Boys. Now, all of a sudden, I had become the dad in the film. Much like Peter, I had grown up. However, just like Peter, and just like Robin, I’m still a kid at heart (and I’ll still draw you a picture from the movie for a $1).

Hook

3. All kids like to push their bedtime to the limit. Our kids hate sleeping. As soon as we put them down to bed, they start laughing and hollering to keep themselves awake and to try to convince us that we should let them stay up later and play with them instead. I remember once in elementary school I stayed up past my bedtime. No one said anything. So I stayed up longer. I ended up watching “The Tonight Show” by myself. That joint came on at like 11pm, so I was living on the edge. Robin Williams was a guest on the show. I probably didn’t understand all the jokes and references, but I laughed so hard. He told a story about throwing sandwiches from a hot air balloon. I thought it was the greatest thing ever.

4. I saw “Jumanji” in seventh grade. I was terrified. I had legitimate concerns that a herd of rhinos would come storming through my bedroom. I was in the seventh grade. That’s proof that Robin Williams was not just a hilarious comedian, but a phenomenal actor (and that I’m a wimp).

Thanks for the laughs, Robin. You will be missed.