Mission Accomplished

As I wrote about on Monday, I was pretty hyped for this week’s battle of the law firm bands event. This amazing musical throwdown is in its eleventh year, is hosted by Gifts for the Homeless, and has now raised more than a million dollars for the DC homeless community.

Well, it was a smashing success.

1. This year’s event raised more than $300,000 for the DC homeless. (fist pump)

2. Our band did such a great job. Yes, I’m biased, but we killed it. And by “we,” I mean everyone else in the group. I just showed up for a one-song cameo. The band performed Def Leppard’s “Pour Some Sugar on Me,” Kelly Clarkson’s “Since U Been Gone,” “Power of Love” by Huey Lewis, and Lady Gaga’s “Applause.” Oh, and one more song…

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3. We did a sweet mashup of Queen’s “Under Pressure” and Vanilla Ice’s “Ice Ice Baby” (which are two very different songs that sound nothing alike). We were nervous it would sound muddled, that people wouldn’t get it, and that I’d pass out from wearing a gold trash bag. Thankfully, none of those things happened, but I may have pulled a hamstring due to some awkward white guy dance moves. Here’s the video:

4. Thanks to everyone who came out and who donated. It was a blast seeing so many friends jamming out there with us. Our firm raised $40,000 for this event, more than any other law firm in DC, and had SO many people there! Holla. I was so happy that Amanda was able to attend and that our kids and the babysitter all survived. However, the babysitter, a former teacher, said Madison was the most strong-willed child she had ever seen. That sounds about right.

5. Most importantly, has anyone seen my gold necklace? I threw it into the crowd during “Ice Ice Baby.” P. Diddy will be really mad when I tell him that I lost his $50,000 necklace.

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See you next year. Word to your mother.

Awkward White Guy Rap — The Debut

If you thought my posts about Lady Gaga, burritos, Taylor Swift, and Jesus were annoying, I’m sorry. Be warned: [stuff] is about to get real.

Here come the videos.

I love acting the fool in my writing. I love acting an even bigger fool when the camera is rolling. Oh, and I love rap music. You should too. Please remember that I’m not a professional rapper (even if that is hard to believe). I am a lawyer. Enjoy!

AWKWARD WHITE GUY RAP — “HYPNOTIZE” BY NOTORIOUS B.I.G.

Thanks, Biggie.

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(That is my friend Aaron on the right. That is not Biggie. Biggie is on my shirt. A lot.)

I really love this shirt. I don’t love tiny bathrooms. Or people who take selfies in tiny bathrooms. (Ooops.)

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You can find all the other “Awkward White Guy Raps” here.