Mission Accomplished

As I wrote about on Monday, I was pretty hyped for this week’s battle of the law firm bands event. This amazing musical throwdown is in its eleventh year, is hosted by Gifts for the Homeless, and has now raised more than a million dollars for the DC homeless community.

Well, it was a smashing success.

1. This year’s event raised more than $300,000 for the DC homeless. (fist pump)

2. Our band did such a great job. Yes, I’m biased, but we killed it. And by “we,” I mean everyone else in the group. I just showed up for a one-song cameo. The band performed Def Leppard’s “Pour Some Sugar on Me,” Kelly Clarkson’s “Since U Been Gone,” “Power of Love” by Huey Lewis, and Lady Gaga’s “Applause.” Oh, and one more song…

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3. We did a sweet mashup of Queen’s “Under Pressure” and Vanilla Ice’s “Ice Ice Baby” (which are two very different songs that sound nothing alike). We were nervous it would sound muddled, that people wouldn’t get it, and that I’d pass out from wearing a gold trash bag. Thankfully, none of those things happened, but I may have pulled a hamstring due to some awkward white guy dance moves. Here’s the video:

4. Thanks to everyone who came out and who donated. It was a blast seeing so many friends jamming out there with us. Our firm raised $40,000 for this event, more than any other law firm in DC, and had SO many people there! Holla. I was so happy that Amanda was able to attend and that our kids and the babysitter all survived. However, the babysitter, a former teacher, said Madison was the most strong-willed child she had ever seen. That sounds about right.

5. Most importantly, has anyone seen my gold necklace? I threw it into the crowd during “Ice Ice Baby.” P. Diddy will be really mad when I tell him that I lost his $50,000 necklace.

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See you next year. Word to your mother.

One Night

I spend most of my work days sitting at a desk.

I spend most of my work days staring at Microsoft Word.

I spend most of my work days resisting the urge to eat all the free cookies in the break room.

But not this Thursday night.

Oh no, not this Thursday night.

This Thursday night. I will rap. I will dance. I will wear a crazy costume.

For work.

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This Thursday night, June 26, 2014, is the 11th annual “Banding Together” battle of the law firm bands throwdown in DC. Other than free burrito day at Chipotle during Teacher Appreciation Week, it is probably my favorite night of the year.

Here’s why:

1. This event raises more than $275,000 for Gifts for the Homeless, an amazing charity that provides clothes for the DC homeless community. This proves that lawyers are capable of doing good stuff.

2. I get to perform on the same stage where the Foo Fighters, Arcade Fire, the Killers, Kings of Leon, Radiohead, and the Roots have all jammed. I apologize for hurting those bands’ street cred.

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3. I get to perform with some amazing, talented, and funny people:

Sutherland Comfort. We’re often mistaken for the Wu-Tang Clan.

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4. 1,000+ people go to this thing. Although a lawyer battle of the bands might sound kind of lame, it’s not. It’s pretty [[ insert whatever is the most current word for hype/cool/ill/dope/ ]].

5. I’ve made the Washington Post twice for this event. Unfortunately, both times I was shown wearing the (fake) red Kangol hat pictured above.

6. A bunch of my awesome friends go. You should too. Please?

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7. I’ve been practicing the Running Man. For work.

8. Sarah Jessica Parker would be jealous of my on-stage wardrobe changes.

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9. Our firm really supports this thing. We raised $45,000 for our band last year. People at our office buy Sutherland Comfort t-shirts. They also scream really loudly to help cover up my slightly-worse-than-average rapping.

10. I’ll be singing one of the most important songs in the history of the world.

In short, I’m a little bit excited about Thursday night (but also fearful that I pass out or fall off the stage and end up on Tosh.0). If you are in DC that night and want to help support the homeless community, come on out and watch some lawyers get turnt (or turned?) up! The event starts at 7:00pm and is going down at the Black Cat. Sutherland Comfort will start rocking the stage around 9:15pm. Tickets are $10. If you can’t attend, but would still like to contribute to this awesome cause, you can do so here. Finally, if you feel compelled to babysit two adorable twins that night so Amanda can attend, that would be the illest.