Regrets

It’s almost time for Austin and Madison to make their big debuts.  Although it feels like we should be on month five or six of the pregnancy journey, we’re at Week 37 and only have a few days left.

Honestly, I’m filled with so many different emotions.  I’m infinitely excited, I’m stressed about getting the “IT’S TIME” phone call, I’m humbled that I can be a part of something so wonderful, I’m intimidated by the idea of being a role model for two living creatures, and I feel a fulfillment that I’ve never known before.

However, I also feel sad.

No, I’m not sad that we’re having kids (even though we gave up our Nationals season tickets this year because of the babies).

I’m sad that I didn’t live the last eight years to the fullest. Amanda and I are about to enter a very special season of our lives, but it is a season that will look nothing like the past decade. I’ve been becoming increasingly nostalgic about the “old” days when we ate cheap pasta 3-4 nights a week, spent our evenings watching bad reality television, and got home from work at 5:15pm.  We wandered through an Egyptian desert, hiked through Austria, and lived in Cambodia for two months.  We have a lengthy list of things we loved and appreciated about our 8+ years of childless marriage, but it’s hard not to think of the missed opportunities.  

Regrets

It would be nice to say I lived a life without any regrets, but that’s not true. However, I’ve learned from those mistakes.  After eight years of childless marriage, here’s what I wish I had done differently:

I wish I worked less.

I wish we went out to dinner more.

I wish we spent more money. Saving is great, but saving just for the sake of saving isn’t worth it. Sorry, Dave Ramsey.  #yolo

I wish I studied less in law school.

Although we went to 13 different countries, I still wish we traveled more.  There are few things more important than seeing how the other 6,999,999,999 people on this world live.

I shouldn’t have wasted so much time watching TV.  Especially “Heroes.”  That show was terrible after the first season.

I wish we went on more walks.

I wish we never spent a single second trying to blame each other for our marriage problems.

I wish we prayed together more.

I wish I spent less time looking at my phone.

I wish we didn’t walk ten miles through shady parts of Los Angeles to save $20 on a cab.

I wish we did more DC touristy stuff.

Although I didn’t drink a ton of alcohol, I still wish I drank less.

I wish we adopted a second dog. (No offense, Napoleon.)

I wish we bought a grill.  Both the cooking kind and the sweet rapper mouthpiece.

I wish I cared less about what people think and cared more about what God thinks.

I wish I never made Amanda stay at a $5 hostel in Bangkok that had poop on the wall.

Well, that’s the list.  I’m sure there are more things to add, but my metro ride is coming to an end.  I won’t sit around and wallow about those regrets, but the missed opportunities do make me feel a bit sad.  However, reflecting on such things encourages me to do better during this next stage of life.  And I’ll make sure we splurge on the $10 room next time we go to Thailand.

13 thoughts on “Regrets

  1. You both are going to be terrific parents! So excited for you! And we’ll be here to help you make the most of this season. Love you guys!

  2. Good thing is some of the things on your list will be done when Madison and Austin arrive. You will be getting plenty walking in, and your travel plans will soon be Disney vacations. LOL and I put in first call to be the Nanny on those trips!! Either way you both are just amazing people and I am so blessed that you are a part of my life!!

  3. Great read, Andrew! After 16 and a half years of childless marriage, there are few things we regret not doing and we haven’t done half the things you guys have. Now when we go places and do things, we want to take Jackson with us. Yeah, we were “those parents” who had our baby out at the gastropub after 9pm last Saturday night. Parenthood is such a fun adventure (after you survive the first 4 weeks). You guys are gonna love it!

  4. “I wish we bought a grill. Both the cooking kind and the sweet rapper mouthpiece.” – MY FAVORIIIIITE!!! ha! Thanks for this, helps me realize that i still do have time to do most of your regrets list =)

    happy future birthday to your kids!

  5. Always amazing Andrew. I will never regret reading your posts that is for shizzie! I love how honestly you share from your heart and how easy it is for all of us to connect to you on so many different levels. Keep sharing!

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