No offense to my marvelous wife,
But I have a hot new love in my life.
Our passion is spicy and full of desire,
Best of all, it only costs $2.99 to acquire.
Oh, Sriracha, Oh Sriracha, you are the key to my heart,
A trip to the grocery store is tragic without you in my cart.
Forget ketchup, mustard, and even barbecue sauce,
When it comes to condiments, Sriracha, you are the boss.
Asian food? Duh. Italian food? Of course.
A meal apart from you is like Zorro without his trusted horse.
I love the funky chicken on your bottle and all the words I can’t understand,
Without you, all food would be terribly bland.
Best of all, you’re made in America, seriously, I’m shocked too,
With you in my cupboard, Sriracha, there is nothing we can’t do.