I talk too much. In fact, I can only remember five times in my life when I was left speechless:
1. February 3, 2008: The Patriots had just lost to the NY Giants in Super Bowl 42. My Tom Brady-shaped heart was broken and I had nothing to say. That was not ideal when there were 15 other people in the room watching the game. At my apartment.
2. July 26, 2011: (walks into a dressing room and sees Britney Spears; forgets everything) “Uhhhh…you’re Britney Spears…” (awkward silence)
3. February 5, 2012: (See #1.) Giants. Patriots. Super Bowl 46. My house was full of people. I wanted to “fall” out of our second-floor window.
4. July 19, 2013: I hoped to call it a day and just go to sleep at 8pm. On a Friday night. Yea, I’m a baller. As I laid in bed, Amanda tried to tell me, via a series of “funny” photos, that she was pregnant. I didn’t understand. Once I finally got the message, I said “I’m gonna need a moment” and laid there in silence for a few seconds.
5. August 1, 2013: Amanda called me after a doctor appointment and said that I needed to sit down. Sadly, I expected the worse. She told me we’re having twins. I wasn’t expecting that. All I could do was laugh.
Oh, in case you missed yesterday’s news, we’re having a baby. Well, technically, TWO babies. Holler.
A month has passed since I learned that we’re #twinning and I still don’t quite have the words to say. Of course, there will be some pregnancy and baby rap videos in the future, however, a semi-rambling list of thoughts will have to do for now:
1. Rather than “exciting” or “scary,” the word that best describes my feelings is “humbling.” I can’t get over the fact that a strange, immature, selfish, and broken guy like me could help make something so beautiful. Well, two somethings. Two years ago, Amanda and I were thinking about divorce. Now, we’re talking about baby seersucker suits (well, I am).
2. Other than Sour Patch Kids, I’ve never had so much love for something so small. The “baby” was the size of a poppy seed when I first heard the news. I thought about that little thing all day. I even cried because I loved that little dude(ette) so much. That made for an awkward bike ride to work.
3. I didn’t know what “pray without ceasing” really meant until I found out I was having a baby.
4. God has a sense of humor. We never thought about the possibility of having twins. Each night, we prayed for “the baby” and thought about names, nursery themes, and things to buy for our ONE kid. Little did we know there was a dynamic duo inside Amanda. God probably laughed. Yet, the whole thing is perfect. I love being the “black sheep” and doing things differently. Waiting eight years to get pregnant and then having two babies is unique. Oh, and babies make me feel a bit uncomfortable. Having two on one day is a quick way to get over that.
5. Honestly, I don’t know how this whole thing will work. I’m already failing at balancing everything in my life. Work, family, friends, church, exercise, sports, sleep, and writing. I’m finding it impossible to juggle it all. I’ve worked out twice during the past month after three years of consistent exercise. I don’t sleep much. Thus, throwing two babies into the mix will be a challenge. However, the one thing I do know is that it will work out. And it will be awesome (and expensive and tiring).
Anyone want to babysit?