I’m thankful for a lot of things. I’m thankful that *NSYNC is reuniting for a hot second this weekend. I’m thankful that Lady Gaga is finally back after her mystery hiatus. I’m thankful for my new pair of red pants.
Most importantly, I’m thankful that I didn’t walk away from my marriage.
I thought about it. More than once.
Don’t be fooled by Hollywood. Every married person has one thing in common:
We have all struggled with our marriage. All of us.
It may be a brief moment after your husband pressures you into going mud swimming in Colombia or it may be something you wrestle with for years. When you go through a rough patch, take heart, Young Jedi. You’re not the first married dude or dudette who wondered if life would be better if you were single and could eat cereal for dinner every day and play X-Box all night.
Although I’m kind of an idiot, here’s the five most important things I’ve learned after nearly eight years of marriage:
1. Never admit that you’re wrong.
1. Cling to the reasons you got married. You may try to rewrite history and tell yourself that you were never in love to justify walking out. That’s a lot easier than fighting for your marriage. The easy way won’t get you far. Remember the good times.
2. Get away from your spouse. Seriously, you need some alone time. You need time with your boys/ladies. I love Oreos, but I don’t want to eat them every meal. Okay, maybe that’s not true. However, if I ate Oreos all day and every day, I wouldn’t appreciate them as much.
3. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Most of your fights will be about dumb stuff. When that happens, call it out and laugh at yourselves for getting upset about who finished off the pack of Thin Mints. Sure, there will be fights about very serious and important topics. Just don’t let the dumb stuff kill you.
4. The Big Bond. There has to be something greater that ties you together. This could be faith or a charitable cause. If that’s not your thing, then maybe it could be a passion for politics, movies, or rap music.
5. Get out of the house. Life should be an adventure. You need to travel together. You need to go on bike rides. You need to go out on dates. If you’re in a funk and you’re just hanging out at home all the time, you’ll never break the cycle.
So there you have it. Not all marriages can be saved, but at least give it your best shot before walking away.
I’m glad I did.