Nacho Business

It’s time to end the great national debate:

Which burrito is best?

taco

Thankfully, our 21st Century world is full of fast food “Mexican” “restaurants.”  I’m not good at a lot of things, but I am good at eating Mexican food.  In fact, I believe that “more hot sauce” was my very first sentence (although that probably isn’t technically a sentence).  Plus, I ate nachos and/or burritos every non-breakfast meal in college for three straight years, so I have hundreds of thousands of calories of experience.

anchorman-burrito

So the next time someone asks you what the Top 5 fast food “Mexican” “restaurants” are, now you know.

5.  California Tortilla:  Sike.  This place is awful.  I pray the one by my office closes and they put a Potbelly’s in there.  Or anything else that isn’t California Tortilla.

On to the real list…

5.  Lime:  I’ve never been, but it looks cool.  And I hear the food is great and there is a salsa bar.  That automatically makes it better than Qdoba (and California Tortilla).

4.  Baja Fresh:  The name isn’t accurate because the food isn’t exactly fresh and isn’t exactly Baja (whatever that means). However, the portions are out of control, they always have coupons, and the salsa bar is ridiculous.  For dinner, my wife and I used to share a massive burrito, use a $2 coupon, and get two little “boxes” of chips and 817 mini-cups of salsa.  All for $5.  We used to run that scheme once a week and the workers didn’t even have to ask us for our order.  I always thought it would be fun to be a regular at a neighborhood restaurant.  I’m sad it was Baja Fresh.

salsa

3.  Taco Bell:  Haters gonna hate, but this place rocks.  Yes, the quality is lame. Yes, you might get Salmonella.  Yes, the “beef” might actually be horse meat.  Yes, a lot of the ingredients come out of squirt bottles.  Dude(tte), ease up and stop stressing about the little things.  Taco Bell tastes amazing.  Plus, if you stick with the Fresco menu, it can be pretty healthy too.  Don’t hate.  Embrace.

2.  Chipotle:  What was the greatest invention of the 20th Century?  The airplane? Nope.  The computer?  Nope.  “Saved by the Bell”?  Almost.  Correct answer:  Chipotle.  It’s fresh and it’s delicious.  However, they need a salsa bar.  Badly.  I’d pay a $1 extra for my burrito to get a salsa bar up in there.  They already have most of my money anyways.

1.  District Taco:  I often think about moving back to Virginia Beach someday.  However, there are a few things that keep me in the DC area:  my job, my church, my friends, the Nationals (bums!), and my mortgage.  Most importantly, District Taco.  District Taco is the best thing in DC since Teddy Roosevelt.  The food is SO good.  Plus, there is a slick salsa bar (Hello, Chipotle!).  Oh, and two random dudes quit their jobs and started making tacos and burritos because, well, they love making tacos and burritos.  This gives me hope.

Debate. Over.

15 thoughts on “Nacho Business

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  5. May or may not have revisited this post because a “friend” of mine has a burrito craving. Also, “every non-breakfast meal”? You still have a few things to learn about burrito-eating, my friend.

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Holler

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